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Why Some Homes Are Unhappy

Why, then, are many homes unhappy? Why are they being broken by discord, separation, and divorce? It is because God’s pattern has been disregarded. Within His Word is found the needed building material for a happy home. Homes built according to His Word are places of love, trust, mutual interest, and unselfish service one to another. Such homes will bring happiness into our lives and preserve our communities and nations. Are you following the plan of God, the Master Architect? “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).

In youth, the foundation is laid for our future homes. A life pure before God is an important ingredient in our preparation for marriage. Premarital sinfulness undermines moral stability and places the future home in jeopardy. Self-centeredness and self-gratification in our youth set a pattern of living that wreaks havoc in marriage. The high rate of divorce is sufficient proof of these facts. These sins must be thoroughly repented of before there can be a new life in Christ. The past can then be laid to rest and God will enter with His blessings.

A home begins when a man and a woman are joined together in marriage. The Bible says we are to marry “only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). This means that both the man and woman have surrendered their lives and wills to the Lord. God must have first place. When the man and woman are both unselfish, they can enjoy mutual happiness.

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 Looked That Healed

Jesus the True Shepherd
The following story illustrates Jesus’s love and care for all people. A shepherd had one hundred sheep. He loved his sheep and kept them in a pleasant valley deep within the mountains. The valley was a safe place, but the mountains were dangerous. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters” (Psalm 23:1-2).

Sometimes the shepherd led his sheep into the mountains to find pasture. The shepherd watched over the sheep, protected them, and then led them back to the safety of the valley before darkness fell. When they reached the sheepfold, the careful shepherd counted the sheep as they went through the gate. “Then said Jesus… I am the door of the sheep… by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved” (John 10:7, 9).

One evening the shepherd counted only ninety-nine sheep. One of the sheep was still out on the mountain! Curious about the world around him, that sheep had fallen behind. Green tufts of grass lured him away from the trail. He stopped to investigate flowers, trees, and bushes he had never noticed before. Captivated by his discoveries, he forgot about following the shepherd and was left far behind. As evening came, he suddenly realized that he was alone and far from home. He was afraid and began to run. In his confusion he went the wrong way. He could not find the shepherd, the sheep, or the path home.

Night fell and a storm came. The lost sheep huddled under a bush, soaked and miserable. “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Eventually the thunder and the rain ceased. The noises and shadows of the night frightened the sheep into running again. Thorns tore him and he began to bleed. Behind him, howling wolves found his trail and gave chase.

When the shepherd realized the sheep was missing, he shut the gate to the sheepfold, took his staff, and returned to the mountain. The shepherd also faced the storm and the darkness. He was hungry, wet, and cold. He often stopped to call for the sheep, but he heard no reply. He was tired, but persistently continued to search. When the shepherd heard the howls of the wolves in the distance, he knew his sheep was in great danger. He urgently set off in that direction. Could the sheep be rescued before it was too late?

The lost sheep also heard the howls of the wolves. He continued to run until he was weak and exhausted. He did not realize the cruel wolves were chasing him into a trap. Night fell upon a dreadful scene. The sheep was caught by thorns near the edge of the cliff. He was bleeding, exhausted, and surrounded by wolves. He struggled pitifully, but he could not save himself. It seemed he had reached his end. All that he could do was cry out for help.

The shepherd heard and came quickly! Fearlessly he faced the wolves and drove them away. He went to his crying sheep and gently pulled him out of the thorns and away from the edge of the cliff. He bathed his wounds and applied healing ointment. Then he took him in his arms and tenderly carried him home. The lost sheep had been found. “So will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them” (Ezekiel 34:12).

We are all like the lost sheep. Jesus, the Good Shepherd, loves us and has a safe place for us. There is also an enemy that wants to destroy our soul. Satan tempts us with many enticing things, promising security and good times. In the end, his promises leave us empty. The happiness and fulfillment that Satan offers is false and elusive. We become frustrated and afraid; we are injured and torn. We wander blindly and cannot escape.

Thankfully, Jesus has provided a way of escape. He is still seeking those who have been lured away by Satan and are trapped by his devices. “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10).

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” We need to pray to Jesus, acknowledging our sin and asking for forgiveness. We then commit our lives totally to Him, leaving our sinful ways. Jesus died for us and paid for our sins with his blood so we can be clean and free before God. There is much rejoicing in heaven when a lost sheep is found and carried by the Shepherd into his sheepfold. “And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray” (Matthew 18:13).

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Coming to God

Coming to God
Now the question is, how do we come to God? The answer is in the Bible. “No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him” (John 6:44). God, through His Holy Spirit, makes us aware that we are sinners and in need of a Savior. Sometimes we don’t fully understand God’s call. We may begin to notice an empty, lonely feeling in our heart—a need of something, a feeling we are not right, a conviction we are lost.

When we become aware of this restlessness in our spirit, we need to open our heart to God for direction. The load of sin will become very heavy, and our heart will become remorseful because of our past sinful life. God wants us to surrender our life to Him in true repentance. When God sees our broken and contrite heart and our readiness to fully do His will, He forgives our past sinful life, and we receive forgiveness and peace (Psalm 34:18; Psalm 51:16-17). Oh, how happy we now are, and we want to share with others what Christ has done in our heart!

This freedom is not something that comes through human reasoning. It is a work of the Holy Spirit in the heart that converts us to a new life. Through this power of the Holy Spirit, we have faith to trust God so we can lay down our own will and forgive others. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

The Bible way of forgiveness is beautiful. A trusting faith in the sacrifice of Jesus, coupled with a complete surrender to God and His will, removes the guilt from our heart. Our sins are completely covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. The forgiveness that God gives to us takes away our offenses and hurts. He wipes the slate clean and forgets our sins, “And their iniquities will I remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12). What a wonderful freedom we can experience when God forgives our sins and we can forgive our fellow man. You too can experience this in your heart and life. Come to the Lord today!

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Unconditional Forgiveness

Jesus taught that the only way for us to grant forgiveness to others is in the way He has forgiven us. We are to forgive regardless of the nature or gravity of the offense against us, the number of offenses, or the character of the offender. We are to show unconditional mercy as God has shown mercy to us. As we humble ourselves and extend forgiveness to others, God opens the way for us to seek forgiveness for our own mistakes and sins. God fully forgives all who come to Him with a humble and repentant spirit.

As we follow the Holy Spirit, we will know the truth, and the truth will make us free (John 8:32). Verse 36 says, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

“To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts” (Hebrews 3:15). In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, “Come unto me… and I will give you rest.” As we follow these teachings, we will be forgiven and will be able to forgive others.

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Unforgiveness

Let us take note that, because of our sins, we would be worthy of eternal death. But because of His love and mercy toward us, Jesus died in our stead, so we can be forgiven and our transgressions covered.

Unforgiveness Brings Bondage
When we experience Christ’s gracious forgiveness, we receive peace. To retain this peace, it is necessary to forgive others. Christ tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Jesus told a story that teaches us about the perils of unforgiveness. The story was about a king who wanted to check his servants’ accounts. He found that he had a servant who owed him a very large sum of money, equal to many years’ wages. The king told the servant that he, his family, and all his possessions would have to be sold. The servant begged for mercy and the king forgave him of his debt. This servant later found one of his fellow servants who owed him a small sum, about a day’s wages. He told his fellow servant that he would have to pay in full. His fellow servant begged for mercy, but the servant would not forgive the debt. When the king heard of this, he called his servant to him. He said, “I forgave you when you asked me. Should you not have done the same?” The king then sent him to prison until the debt could be paid. Jesus then said that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we do not forgive others. (Matthew 18:23-35)

Hating someone, holding an offense, or harboring a grudge causes many negative effects. The person who allows such attitudes in his life becomes miserable. His health suffers, as do his relationships.

When we don’t forgive others, it brings about a bondage to our souls that could be compared to being enslaved by people or bound by a substance addiction. This unforgiveness causes a bitterness within us. It locks in sorrow, anger, and strife; it locks out joy, love, and fellowship. This bitterness is a result of a proud spirit that seeks to keep score and gain revenge for perceived and real wrongs. If we refuse to release our offended feelings, they will eventually control us. We will be in bondage to them as well as in the bondage of sin before God.